Bleeding Heart
by Zaxarus
Summary: Fleur died in the Triwizard Tournament and a heart-broken Cho is unable to cope with that and how she rejected Fleur's love immediately before her death out of fear. Hermione wants to help her. Alternative ending to the story "Eyes of Blue" from ABCCJPTT.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:**_

_A few days ago I read the story "Eyes of Blue" from ABCCJPTT. The story impressed me very much and I liked the tragic end. But: I'm a hopeless romantic type and thought about how this story could go on, how this moment of Cho finding a solution to her pain could be twisted. So, please don't see this story as a sequel to "Eyes of Blue" but as an alternative ending._

Original story: s/2522272/1/Eyes_of_Blue

_(Short summary of "Eyes of Blue" – but please read the story instead:_

_In the time of the tournament Fleur and Cho share a room. Slowly a friendship and more grows between them but both are unable to declare their feelings. Immediately before the last test Fleur declares her love but is rejected by Cho out of fear. Fleur dies in the test and Cho has to cope with the loss and the memory of her own awful behavior. Half a year later she decides that she is unable to survive with these memories and uses_ _on herself an Obliviate spell to erase them)_

.

**Bleeding Heart **

_One the way to the Ravenclaw dormitory (Hermione's POV)_

The last weeks had been painful to all of us. Not only because of the events of the last year and our need to find a way to cope with the death of Cedric but also with Mrs. Umbridge's hellish talent to make our life a little more acrid every day.

Ron and I had needed all our persuasiveness and the help of some friends to convince Harry to build our small group, Dumbledore's Army. But we had succeeded so far and since a few weeks we had met once a week to train in the Defense against Dark Magic.

I should have been pleased with this success; my sleep should have been calmer. But the contrary was the case. With the beginning of our lessons a new problem arose and started to trouble me. A new problem at least for me because in reality it had been there for months only I needed a while and her vicinity to discover it. _Her vicinity_ because the problem had a name: Cho Chang.

Since our return from summer break I had seen that something was amiss with her. She had lost weight in the past months; her eyes had been sad, her voice quiet. But with us never been very close friends and Cho one year above us I hadn't spent much time with her so far. Only after her joining our group had this changed a bit and these shared hours had immediately started to give me bad dreams and even some nightmares in the last days.

As everyone else I knew that she had been on the ball with Cedric. And she had been his "treasure" in the second test, meaning that at least to him Cho had meant much. So it had been natural that most assumed this feeling to be reciprocated by the beautiful Asian girl and it had been no surprise to anybody that she had coped very badly with his death in the third test. But thinking about that day I more and more scrutinized this conclusion. More and more often I went thru the pictures that had been branded in my mind, pictures about the last hours of Cedric.

Shortly before Harry came back with the body of Cedric they had found the corpse of Fleur. The finding had been almost overlooked by the masses of students and professors thanks to Cedric's death and the news Harry brought about Voldemort. But it had been Fleur's body Cho had herself thrown above. It had been Fleur's body, not Cedric's, whom she mourned with hysteric intensity. And it had been Fleur's body from whom she could only be separated thanks to Hagrid.

I wasn't sure about the relation these two girls shared. At all events it had been a complicated one. They had shared a room in the Ravenclaw dormitory for most of the time of the Triwizard Tournament. Certainly this room sharing had never been an easy one. Both were very intelligent and beautiful, but on the surface therewith their similarities ended.

While Cho always had been open, friendly and honest, to most of Hogwart's inhabitants Fleur seemed to be the typical spoiled brat from Beauxbatons. Always an insult on her sultry lips, never content with anything our home had to offer she let not one day pass without showing how she despised her time here.

But even from the beginning there must have been more. It had been Cho who went looking after the first test, who cared about her injuries as Fleur rejected any help from Mrs. Pomfroy. More than once I saw them together in their very up and down friendship. Now thinking back I remember the looks, how Cho stared at Fleur and Fleur watched Cho, both mostly ignoring their dance partners Roger and Cedric.

Immediately before the last test I had seen Cho returning from the Quidditch Pitch. She had been agitated, in inner turmoil, nearly unable to concentrate on the events around her. And now I also remember the look of Fleur as she appeared at the edge of the maze, ready to follow Harry, Cedric and Victor. How could I overlook it back then, this despair, this disappointment, this … broken heart? Some terrible must have happened between them. I had an idea what it had been but now this wasn't important.

The only thing of importance in this moment was my need to reach her. In the last days I had more than once seen her in the one place I more or less considered my private place, my home: the library. That is not to say that Cho would be an unusual sight there. Far from it. As a Ravenclaw she shared the interest in learning of her house members. Intelligent and studious as she was I had often seen her in the library. But these last days had been … different.

Every time she had been alone. Every time she had looked around with the eyes of a flushed deer, searching the vicinity for observers. And then she went to the department with the memory charms, reading there for hours in silence. Every time someone neared her place she hastily changed the books around and hid her notes. Slowly a horrible suspicion grew in my mind, a suspicion what her plan could be. I had tried yesterday after the group's meeting to speak with her, but she had been adamant that all was well. I had seen it in her eyes, that she was ready to set her plan in motion. So I decided to follow her after our lessons.

Harry must have seen my inner turmoil, must have realized how important this was to me. Without questions he had given me his invisibility cloak this morning which had allowed me to follow Cho without being detected. She had been very quiet at lunch, even more than on the days before. But her stance, her motions told me that I was right, that she would act today, do whatever her troubled mind had decided.

I followed her a last time to the library, watched her as she looked in one of the books as if she wanted to be secure. As she left I took the book and found what I had feared. I'm sure that this had been the first time that I crammed a book in a shelf, unable to care about dog-ears. Instead I followed her, tried to reach her in time only to watch in horror as she entered the Ravenclaw dormitory. Why hadn't I thought about that? Why hadn't I anticipated that she would do what she had planned in the security of her own room? I knew that she didn't share her room with anybody, that she would be alone there. I sensed the dire urge to tear my hair because of my stupidity.

With fast-growing anxiety I watched the entrance. Certainly I could look for a Ravenclaw and ask … ask what? And why and with what explanation? How could I explain why I wanted to enter the dormitory? With a little planning I could have readied a plan but in this moment my mind was somehow burned out completely.

With a heavy sigh of relief – nearly giving away my concealment – I watched Luna Lovgood nearing the entrance. Way to slow for my taste she went up the stairs and toward the picture. I nearly fainted as she stopped a few yards away; looking around with her dreamy stare, looking for something … my heart missed a beat as she stared in my direction. Could she see me? Impossible but somehow … she turned away with a small smile and opened the entrance, standing near the open passage without blocking it … like an invitation.

I had no time to think about it and hurried past her, perhaps even touching her with Harry's cloak. At least I had an idea where the rooms of her year were and hastily I went up the stairs, hoping that nobody was on his way down. The passage … six doors I saw. Giggling I heard behind the first on the right. The second door was open, the room empty. My heart raced. What if I was too late? The third door on the right … as I wanted to lean against I heard her voice from the door over the way. "Blue eyes" she said with a whimper. I crossed the ground, leaned against the door. Yes, this was her voice. Looking around I detected no one else and pulled the cloak away, gathering my nerves, thinking about how to start.

"Ob …"

No, please a second. I reached for the doorknob.

"li …"

I twisted the doorknob. If she had locked the door … please Merlin please.

"vi …"

The door gave away, I lifted my wand as I saw her there, my mind unable to really grasp what I saw, the vision not able to stun me, to stop me in this crucial moment, the vision of Cho pointing her wand at her own forehead, ready to cast the Obliviate spell against herself, to forget all these memories that were harassing her.

"a …."

"Expelliarmus" She did not see me, did not hear me, was unable to avoid my spell, unable to realize what happened.

"Stupor" Instantly my second spell followed, allowing me some time to think, some time to ease my mind and to soothe my pounding heart.

Cho fall to the ground, I following instantly after I somehow closed the door. I leaned against the wood, praising Merlin that she hadn't locked the door and that I had been there in time. I didn't really know how to go on from here, how to cope with the situation, how to convince her not to make another try as soon as I left.

But in this moment this was unimportant. In this moment I felt only joy and relief.

.

_**A/N:**_

_I hope you liked this part. At least a second chapter will follow, I hope tomorrow._


	2. Chapter 2

**Bleeding Heart Chapter 2**

_Cho's Room, Ravenclaw Dormitory (Cho's POV)_

The last days had been terrible, one day more painful than the day before. At every corner I saw her blonde hair; in every giggle I heard her lovely voice; every gesture had been made by her slim hand. And in the nights came the dreams. They all started the same with some sweet moment we had, some gesture, some contact of cloth and skin. The colors of blue and blond dominated these moments and caused my heart to jump in joy; a joy that only made the change crueler. Her blonde hair greying and shedding, her clothes ripped by claws, the light of her tender blue eyes declining. And every dream ended with the moment at the Quidditch Pitch, as she met with me, kissed me and opened her heart.

What had I done? I rejected her love out of fear; I run away and caused her endless pain. Had it been my fault that she died afterwards? Had her will crumbled, her mind faltered because I shattered her heart with my foot? How could I ever forgive myself for what I did? How could I ever live on with the memory of my deed, the memory of her?

I had tried; I really had tried as hard as I could. But I hadn't been strong enough. With every day I walked thru the rooms and passages, with every hour I spend in the classroom, with every night I went to bed fearing the dreams that would come again I died a little bit more. I saw no other escape; I had to do something to end the pain before I become the emotional husk I saw her in my dreams.

So I went to the library, searched for the knowledge to go on with my plans. Nobody had to know of them. They would try to hinder me, prevent me from fulfilling my plan. I made sure that nobody saw me looking into these books, making notes, searching for a way to erase the memories of her and to allow me to live on without endless pain.

And today I had finished my preparations. No, to be true I had finished them a few days before but I had needed these last days to gather my nerves, to strengthen my will, to be ready to execute my idea. I had convinced myself in these days that I had to examine my knowledge, to make secure that I really only erased the memories of her and was not left behind as a brainless husk afterwards. But in reality I knew that a tiny bit of me didn't want to lose them; I wanted to have them burning in my mind and heart, to feel the pain and to be punished by them.

Yesterday I nearly had faltered. Hermione had asked me what was wrong. I was able to see the care in her eyes and for a second I had the urge to entrust myself to her, to tell her about Fleur, about our love and my betrayal. But the moment passed and I left the room of requirements, went to my room for another night of pain. I had to end it; I hadn't been strong enough to be true to Fleur and now I wasn't strong enough to endure the punishment.

Therefore I went today to the library for a last time, to take a look in the book about the usage of the Obliviate spell on patients with post-traumatic experiences. It would be difficult to cast the spell against my own mind but I was sure that now I would able to do it. Looking back I ask myself if it had been a cry for help, this last walk to the library. Perhaps I wanted to be seen, wanted to be asked about it. But nobody came irrespective of my feeling of being watched. Slowly I went back to the dormitory, walked up the stairs and opened the picture. For a moment I had the feeling of someone following me but it ended as I entered the Ravenclaw dorm and closed the entrance behind me.

Safe coolness surrounded me as I followed the passage to my room. I closed the door but didn't lock. Nobody would visit me, interrupt me. They all wanted to allow me space to breath, to remember Cedric. How little they knew about my pain, my inner turmoil. Had I hoped that one of my Ravenclaw sisters would somehow know, somehow feel that I needed her? But who should it be? My dearest friend Marietta had left me behind since she became such an arduous follower of Mrs. Umbridge and nobody else had tried to breach my shields since the summer break.

I prepared the spell, thought about how to hold my wand against my forehead, how to speak the word and to concentrate on the part of my memories I wanted to erase. I was ready, ready apart from one thing. For a last time I wanted to see her face, wanted to hear her voice. For a last time I called the pictures and sounds, the touches and smells back to my mind that we had shared in those moments we had been lucky, in those short moments we had allowed our barriers to be lowered and show each other a little bit of our selves.

"Blue eyes," I saw them before me, blue eyes in her lovely face framed by blond hairs I so dearly wanted to touch. I shook my head. This wasn't the time to falter. I sighed deeply, suppressed the tears and took my wand. Gathering the words a last time I pointed my wand against my forehead and began to speak.

"Ob …"

For an instance I thought that I heard something behind the door.

"li …"

Some movements in the passage but I must not retreat.

"vi …"

An air draft crossed my room, but my eyes remained closed, concentrated on what I wanted to do now.

"a …."

"Expelliarmus"

Something pulled my wand away, interrupted me. Stunned, confused, shaken I was unable to grasp what happened.

"Stupor"

Something hit me in the breast, pushed me to the ground, left me behind unable to move. My heart yelled in pain and rage. I didn't want this interruption. I wanted to go on, to finish my plan and to end my pain. The red light washed over me, the shocking energy crushed thru my body and changed the emotional pain to another, a bodily one. And then all went dark.

.

_Room of Requirements – Day 1 (Cho's POV)_

Slowly I awoke. My body felt like crushed into the ground by a running bull, my head ached. At least the ground was soft and the ceiling above me … Hastily I raised my upper body and head and instantly regretted the fast motion. The room circled around me, nearly causing me to vomit. Someone sank on the bed – which was not my own as the room around me was not mine – beside me and gently embraced me. A hand held a cup of tea in front of me. Hesitantly I took it and drank the tea; slowly I turned my head around to have a look at my savior.

"Hermione …" I could only stare at her. "How … what … I don't …"

In other moments my stammer certainly would have amused her but she showed no single sign of joy, only care and a bit of sorrow. Gently but determined she forced me to drink the rest of the tea.

"It will help you to overcome the repercussions of my Stupor spell. I'm really sorry that I had to use it but I saw no other way."

Slowly I comprehended what had happened. It had been Hermione who opened the door, who used a disarming spell against me and knocked me out. And with the comprehension also come back the anger. I frowned deeply, rose from the bed, gripping the bedpost to steady my stance.

"You had no right to intervene, had no right to stop me."

Hermione looked at me, her expression one of despair and jadeness. "I know, but I simply had to. These last weeks, seeing you slowly dying from your memories … every week we met in this room you were a bit more depressed, a bit nearer to death."

I looked around. This should be the room of requirements? It resembled a flat. I was standing in a bedroom and the open door over there led to a bathroom. Her voice called me back.

"For a long time I didn't understand what happened and what you planned. But then I saw you in the library. Every day you were there, looking into the books about memory charms."

She had been there? Yes, I remembered seeing her there, but Hermione had always been in the library. She belonged there like the librarian.

"Slowly I realized what had happened a few months ago, at least a tiny bit of it. And I understood that your memories were harassing you, killing you. I had a hunch that you wanted to erase them and two days ago in the training, as I asked you, I saw your resolution. That's why I followed you yesterday after the lessons, made … secure that you didn't see me. But I saw you, saw how you looked in this awful book about the Obliviate; I saw you going back to your room. I followed you, wanted to speak with you before you finished your plan. But I was nearly too late. As I entered your room you were already casting the spell. I had to act quickly. This is why I used the Expelliarmus and the Stupor spell. I had no right to hinder you, but my heart commanded it. I simply couldn't … couldn't let you do it without speaking with you before."

I looked around, not really grasping how all this could have happened. How had she been able to follow me without me noticing it? How had she been able to enter the Ravenclaw dorm? Somehow she had ushered me away from the dorm and transported to this …

"This is the room of requirements? It is so … changed."

Hermione nodded slowly. "The room appears at what it is needed. And in the moment we both need this flat. We have two bed rooms, a common room, a bath and even a small kitchen."

I walked around, looking into the rooms, staring at the furnishing. In the kitchen there were even foodstuffs for a few days. Then I reached the door, a heavy door without a doorknob. Reaching for the place where normally my wand rested I found none. Angrily I turned around.

"Open the door," I demanded. But Hermione only shook her hand, pointing to the empty space where her own wand belonged. "I can't. The door is not openable from this side."

My frown deepened. I didn't want to be here … with her. I wanted to leave instantly.

"The others will miss me … us."

Another time she shook her head. "Harry and Luna know about … this. They are the only that know. They'll cover our absence."

My mind searched for an escape, finding none. "But the others … Dumbledore's army, they use this room, they'll …"

"Only in five days they'll do. We had met two days ago and the next meeting will be in five days. This long we have to wait. That is the reason we have foodstuff in the kitchen for a week."

Angrily I scolded her: "You have thought about everything, right? Hermione-the-all-planning, Hermione-the-all-knowing you are."

Sadly she responded my glare. "No I don't. I have no plan, no idea, only the wish to help you, to speak with you, to find a way aside from the Obliviate."

The realization hit me full force. This wasn't some awful plan of a terrible mastermind. It was an idea born out of despair, out of the will to help me. Somehow she had known, had hindered me in my doing and brought me to this room. I had no idea how she convinced Harry and Luna to help her with this mad plan, but convince she did. Brought me in this room, locked the door behind us and forced us to stay here for five days with no way to escape.

She took a great risk to stay with me. In my current state of mind how could she be sure that I didn't … snapped? And she sacrificed no small amount of time. Five days missing classes, five days without her beloved library, five days … for me.

"Why," my question was barely a whisper? "We aren't friends; we are not even from the same house. Why are you doing this?"

Hermione stayed silent for a long time. As she answered her voice was very low and unsteady as if she was barely able to understand it herself. "Harry cares for you. Even with you not reciprocating his feeling this alone shows me what a special witch you are. I've seen you in the training, in the classroom and in the library. You're honest, true and friendly. You have a beautiful mind. Your interest in knowledge and willingness to share it, your intellect and … for me you're the embodiment of a Ravenclaw student. To mess with your mind, to alter your memories, the erase only a single one of them … it is like a kind of sacrilege for me."

She hesitated for a moment, grasping for words. "Whatever you did, whatever happened between you and Fleur, I'm totally convinced you never wanted to hurt her; that you did nothing out of cruelness. But I want to understand what happened, why you choose this way out of your obvious pain. Please, Cho, speak with me. Tell me what happened; tell me what harasses your mind. Whatever you'll say, it will only be between you and me; it will never leave these walls. I'm not here to judge you; I'm not here because I think me superior in mind or virtues. I'm here to give you a chance to find an escape. Please, Cho, for Fleur's sake, allow me to help you."

While Hermione was speaking I rested my back against the door. Slowly I sank to the ground. Did I want this? Could I allow this? What if she failed in her plan? What if she succeeded?

"And," my voice was only a rasp whisper," what if we don't … what if we don't find a way? What if the door open in five days and I'm still willing to use that spell? Will you hinder me anew? Will you tell the others …"

Hermione was pale as a blanket. Her voice falterd as she answered. "I dearly want to help you, to find a way around this. I wouldn't have done this all without my hope to find an escape. But … but if these doors open and you yet want to go on with your plan … I won't hinder you. I won't tell the others. I'll help you, cast the spell and make secure that only what you wants to erase will leave your mind."

Her last sentence was so low and full of grief that I was nearly unable to understand it. But I saw in her eyes that she meant them, that she would fulfill her end of the bargain. Now it was time for my end of it.

.

_**Author's note:**_

_I realized that this is very difficult for me to write. There will be a third chapter at least, perhaps even a fourth. But I'll need a bit of time to plan the five days in the room of requirements. Please be patient._


	3. Chapter 3

**Bleeding Heart Chapter 3**

Room of Requirements – Day 1 (Hermione's POV)

For some beats of my pounding heart I silently watched Cho. These first minutes had gone better than feared. She hadn't panicked, hadn't tried to force her way out of the room and to my relief she hadn't simply bashed me to a bloodied pulp in revenge for my interrupting and stunning her, something she certainly would have been able with her athletic body, well-trained from her hours of practicing Quidditch while my sport program ended with some hours on the tribune watching Ginny, Harry and Ron.

But what should I do now? With something Cho had been right: my strength had always been my ability to plan ahead, to collect information and knowledge from books and filter them, ending with a concrete plan with all possibilities prepared. But now I had none of this and so my strength turned to a weakness. I needed some time.

Determined I shoved Cho in the direction of the bath room. "Step one: washing," I tried to accompany the words with a playful smile. Shortly I pointed towards a casket. "Therein are some of your clothes." On her asking glare I added with a lopsided smile: "Luna took them from your room. We thought that your enthusiasm to wear the same clothes for five days would be limited." With a sigh – indiscernible to be one of despair or relief – Cho followed my order and went to the bath room while I hurried to the kitchen.

To prepare breakfast the old-fashioned style, using nothing than my hands, had always been soothing to me. It reminded me of my days at home. Even now I almost never used any kind of magic in the house of my parents and even without being anything that could be called a proficient cook at least I knew enough to prepare pancakes and some other niceties for us. My hands working diligently I used the time to think ahead. Before I entered the room of requirements a few hours ago I shortly had wondered about reading some books about psychology, an area of knowledge I had avoided so far. But the time had been too short and so it was left to me and my insight to help Cho.

Something was very obvious to me: Cho was very agitated in the moment. The conclusion to use the spell Obliviate certainly hadn't been an easy one and now I had hindered her, whisked her away in this room without the possibility of an escape before five days had elapsed. _Five days_, the thought brought my mind to a rumbling stop, five days in these rooms without any … classes, books, learning. It troubled me somehow; but the most it troubled me that I didn't regret this decision. It would be a kind of new experience, something that Ron would call an adventure. To try to find a way to help Cho, with no knowledge beforehand, with no plan, that was something … frightening.

_Especially with the possible results in mind_, I shuddered. This wouldn't be a simple battle of words, with the winner getting the better mark from a teacher. If I lost this battle I would be forced to stick to my word, to help Cho to pull away something from her mind, something painful but certainly something beautiful too, something that belonged to her and had helped to form and mature her personality.

I hissed in pain as my hand touched the hot pan in a moment of inattention. Hastily I went to the sink and put my hand under the cold water. Seconds later the door opened and a troubled Cho showed there, alarmed from my cry of pain. Her hair was still wet from the shower and she was only clad in a broad towel, showing her well-toned shoulders, arms and long legs with surprisingly tiny feet. _What, where came these thoughts from_? Hastily I averted my eyes and stared at the running water.

"What happened," Cho asked with concern in her voice.

I waved her off: "It is nothing, only a silly witch forgetting how to use a pan properly. My mother would scold me for burning at the hot iron."

She stepped beside me and I sensed this mix of wetness and warmth of her body as she leaned against my shoulder, gripped my arm and took an intensive look at the hand. "You had been lucky. It seems not to be a deep burn. But without a wand to heal there could stay a small scar." She gave me a light smack against the back of my head.

"Hey, what was this for?"

"It was well deserved for not thinking about something like this, girl-who-plans, as you left our wands outside." After some seconds of glaring her expression turned into a small smile. "You should stay your hand under the water for at least ten minutes. I care for the pancakes."

"But … I …" I hesitated shortly. "You were just changing, I suppose. And do you have any idea what to do with the pan? I mean …"

I yelped in a mock of pain as she punched me against the arm. "I'm a mudblood too, remember Mione? A worthless, magic-undeserving, stupid mudblood." I couldn't help but laugh out loud at her imitation of Draco. "I think I know a bit about cooking myself, oh supreme mistress of the kitchen." Cho made a little bow and I responded graciously. It was very nice to see her smile again. Perhaps it wouldn't be that awful. Somehow, without any planning, I had succeeded in bettering her mood. "And about changing: I can do this later. I hope you're not too irritated to see me like this."

Cho showed me her side and turned her bar leg around mockingly. I tried to hide my blush. "I'll try to overlook this and not to deduce points from Ravenclaw for this kind of unfitting behavior." Another small smile from Cho rewarded my words.

.

Two hours later we were cleaning the dishes. The breakfast had been nice and the hand didn't trouble me anymore. Restraining from speaking about yesterday I had led the conversation to be one about our families. With us both stemming from Muggles we had many things to compare about our childhood.

As expected Cho had paled as I told about the profession of my parents. _Dentists_, a word most witches couldn't comprehend in the first, but Cho knew the fear of visiting a dentist. I chuckled shortly, causing a little frown from Cho. She had spoken about her little sister Chan, something I always regretted not to have had. Certainly a large family like the Weasleys wasn't to my liking. They were kind and lovely and all and especially Mrs. Weasley had been like a second mother to me. No, such a large family with no place to hide, never steadying was not to my liking. But to have a sister like Ginny or Cho … I would adore it.

Shortly I looked at Cho. Perhaps she could … I sighed. We'll have to wait. Today it would be my duty to soothe Cho's mind, to give her some time before we spoke about yesterday. If I hurried too much now it would only ruin any hope of reaching her heart.

How could I distract her for a few hours? This was certainly not my focus. My ability to work with books had always surpassed my luck at small talk. "Luna," I exclaimed softly, causing Cho to frown. Ignoring her I went to my bag. _Luna_, I thought, _Luna of all persons would be the solution_. I rummaged thru my bag and pulled the one thing nobody would ever have expected to see me reading.

"The Quibbler," Cho noted with a broad smile. "Hermione Granger owns a Quibbler?"

I blushed shortly. "Yes … err … no, it is not mine." Seeing her unbelieving smile I hastily added. "It is not mine. This Quibbler belongs to Luna. She loaned it to me." Halting my steps I stared at Cho with narrowed eyes as a thought crossed my mind.

"What," Cho asked confused?

"You … you've never been one of them, haven't you? I mean one of those that hid her parts. I heard that it happened sometimes in the Ravenclaw tower."

She shook her head sadly. "No, I have never done this. But I also never helped her."

"That's not nice," I scolded her. "I know Luna is a bit weird sometimes and confusing, but she is a very nice girl. One of the real few persons I ever met totally unable to willingly hurt someone. Weirdness is no reason to hurt her." Going on in my ramblings I watched the sorrow in Cho's eyes as something hit me suddenly, a realization about my own behavior in the past. Not noticing that I stopped to speak midsentence I thought about me, how I had handled her. Luna had more than once confused me with her opinions about strange creatures, a preference she shared with her father. And I had never been able to handle unconfirmed knowledge very well. More than once I had called her Looney myself – even if only behind her back but that didn't improve the deed.

Staring at a confused Cho I stated with a very low voice: "I'm such a hypocrite to tell you what you should do about Luna if I've often been an ass myself towards her."

Cho shortly embraced me. "Perhaps this could be your project after me." There was only a tad of fun in her voice but I nodded with a small smile. Sighing I lifted the Quibbler. "Let's have a look at the possible ways to protect against Nargle invasion."

.

The dinner had been very silent, the memories starting to filter back into Cho's mind. At least the afternoon had been a very pleasant one, surprisingly pleasant I had to admit. Without books, without doing some homework or working on an assignment I had spent these hours without evolving a bad conscience. Was it a good or bad thing that Cho had this kind of influence on me? We had gone to bed early in our respective rooms, but I was unable to grasp sleep. Tomorrow it would be harder. With only four days left I couldn't spend another day with small talk. I had to start to speak about her problems and I had no idea how to begin.

The motions behind the wall told me that Cho had problems to find her sleep too. Or she was already sleeping but uneasy. I only hoped that all went well tomorrow. With these troubling thoughts I somehow must have slipped into sleep because – according to my inner clock – it was hours later that something startled me from my slumber. For a while I stood in bed confused. What had … another cry, Cho's voice wracked with pain. Hastily I left my room and hurried to her door. It was closed and for some time I waited in front of it, uncertain if I should invade her private domain.

Her sobbing convinced me to open the door and slowly I stepped into the dark room. The lonely light in the bath room we led turned on showed me the outline of her body, only partially veiled by her blanket. Restless she tossed and turned in her bed, whispering something from which I only understood her name: _Fleur_. I went to her side, kneeling beside her bed and gently put my arm on her shoulder. The skin was soft and sweat-coated, her hair also dripping with sweat and rumpled. Softly pulling some strains of hair out of her face I caressed her head, stroke her temple with my thumb. It seemed to ease her a bit and so I stayed at her side. I watched her in silence. How could such an intelligent, beautiful and compassionate girl come into this situation, to be troubled like this thru her memories of a lost love?

Slowly she came to some rest, but every now and again she moaned and sobbed again. That tears were slowly running down my own face I nearly missed to register. After an hour, my knees burning from the rest on the carpet and my legs going numb I decided to do something I had only done a few times until now and only with Ginny when homesickness had hit her in her first year at Hogwarts: I climbed into Cho's bed, stayed on the blanket and put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her lithe body against my own, breathing in her neck and slowly slipping into sleep again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bleeding Heart – Chapter 4**

_Room of Requirements – Day 2 (Cho's POV)_

The night had been better than all the other ones in the months before. Even my dreams hadn't been the same. Yes, they started as usual with me meeting Fleur, our joyous moment slowly changing into a darker one. But then, unexpectedly, the darkness melted away and the joy came back. The following pictures of me spending a night with Fleur had aroused my body and I was sure about me moaning her name more than once. The thought caused my cheeks to blush intensely and I started to move.

This was the moment I realized the other difference. A weight was resting on me, an arm with a slender hand attached to it around my waist, a bare leg over my own. Not fully awake my heart bumped and I turned around, her name on my lips as I …

I don't know what awakened her more, my cry of surprise or that I shoved her away. At all events Hermione was pushed away, crossed the edge of the bed and a second later a loud bump followed. My hand clasped my mouth, suppressing another yelp. Anxiously I waited for Hermione to rise from the floor. Slowly she did this, looking accusingly my way.

"I know that I look disheveled in the morning but don't you think that you overreacted just a bit?" The brunette girl got up and with a sorrow shake of her head went to the door.

"Mione," my call stopped her but she didn't turn around. "I'm sorry. And … thank you … for holding me and …" I struggled for words, not yet ready to thank her for the rescue itself "thank you for the wonderful afternoon." Hermione only nodded and walked away.

_Wonderful_, I sighed, sinking back into my pillow. _The one girl who wants to help you and you shoved her away. Brilliant, Cho that was very brilliant, worthy a Ravenclaw_.

Silently I listened to her motions as she prepared the coffee and went to the bathroom to take a shower. _Disheveled yes, that she had been, but also very cute_. Her hand had shown the typical signs of reading thousands of books and some smaller accidents in the preparation of potions but her leg seemed to be well-cared, smooth and tender. As pictures of a nude Hermione under the shower invaded my mind I pondered about the change Fleur had brought to me in more than one way. Never before I had stared like this at a girl before her and not very often since then. Soft footsteps announced that Hermione had finished her shower and was going to dress; so I hastily left my bed and hurried to the bath myself. _A cold shower should be helpful now_.

.

The breakfast had been mostly silent so far. To my little jokes about her burning accident yesterday Hermione reacted with an uneasy smile before she pondered again about something. It was obvious that she struggled about how to go on. So her question shouldn't have surprised me the way it did.

"Fleur was very beautiful, wasn't she?" I stared at her like a startled hare, unable to do more than shortly nod. "As I saw her the first time," Hermione continued," I thought her to be the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." She watched me and for a moment I thought she wanted to add something, but then she shook her head and looked down to her fingers, that were silly swaying some crumbs on her plate.

"Yes, she was," I agreed after a very long and uneasy pause. "When the time came to find someone for the ball, the boys lined up to ask her. She told me once that even one girl asked …" My delighted voice came to a stop as I thought about that moment. Had she told me this to …?

Hermione interrupted my pondering: "She always seemed very straight to us. Perhaps she told you this to give you a sign, to tell you that not all was as it seemed to be."

I gave a small nod, my voice betraying me in this moment. _Merlin, I could have seen the signs months earlier if I only had been smarter, braver_.

Trying to forget this for a moment and to lighten the mood I responded: "You looked extremely lovely that evening, Mione. This dress of yours was a real eye-catcher."

Her blush deepened: "Thank you. I liked it very much. And Victor, he was a real gallant. I know that the others only saw him as a sportsman and fancied him because of his body and his success at Quidditch. But he was astonishingly intelligent, educated and nice." She sighed deeply before she continued with a small pout. "And despite his shyness around me he had the braveness to ask me, contrary to some other boys around."

A small smile crossed my face. "Is there a chance that you're speaking of a special redhead?"

Hermione growled shortly, but lessened the impact with a smirk. "Is it a tall order to expect him to ask in time? Not to wait until nearly all other girls had been asked? Not to give me the feeling of being the consolation prize? I mean we had been friends for more than four years. It surely hasn't been the question of fear. And do you know what he said as I told him that someone had been faster?"

Slowly she talked herself into a rage and I had to fight hard to remain calm and suppress a chuckle. "He didn't believe me. This stupid ass had the brass to think nobody else would ask me."

"You proved him certainly wrong." I padded her arm and shortly pressed her hand. "You and Victor … if we had chosen a prom queen that evening that would have been you."

I stared at her, watching her skin to gain a color I never expected her to be able to. "You exaggerate. You and Cedric looked also very sweet; and Fleur and Roger too." Hermione stopped to speak and the following silence was very uneasy again.

"Have you ever …" Hermione hesitated for a moment. "Have you ever thought about asking her to go with you?" The last words were very soft, full of care, prohibiting any angry response from me. So I tried to answer truthfully.

"I thought about it more than once. But back then I didn't think it to be possible. There were always boys around, following her every step and as you I thought her to be straight. And then it was too late, Roger had asked her."

"It would have been quite a sensation; I suppose, the two most beautiful girls together with dozens of boys fawning around." She giggled shortly before her expression turned brooding. "Certainly Roger was the target of some envy that evening. How have you felt about it?"

I needed some time to think about the question. I certainly knew what I had felt in that moment, but how could I express these emotions? And how much was I willing to reveal to her? Staring into her eyes I saw her wish to understand, her wish to help me. Hesitantly I started to explain. "I was hurt. Yes, I had been my failure and thinking back I'm sure even after Roger invited her I would have been able to convince her to go with me. But to see her with him … it was painful." With a mere whisper I continued. "And then I saw them again, kissing."

Hermione stared at me with a deep frown: "Roger kissed her?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I couldn't believe it and for a long time it … I couldn't speak with her, couldn't believe her as she told me that she didn't want to kiss him." Without a word Hermione watched me as I pondered about those weeks, about my anger at Fleur and my disbelief despite anything she told me.

"Did you know that I dated him a few weeks ago? Roger I mean."

"Why … why did you do this?"

I shrugged in despair. "I don't know; I don't really understand what I did since the summer break. Perhaps I wanted to be near her, feeling like being with Fleur because he had been." I sniffled, wiped away the tears that started to run down my face. "He told me about that evening. He had been scared, scared to be with the girl of his dreams. The solution to battle his fears had been alcohol and so he was quite drunk as they went onto the balcony. And there he kissed her, ignoring her denial. As he told me he more or less forced her to kiss him."

Hermione gasped, unable to comprehend, to melt this knowledge with the picture she had about Roger, the intelligent, nice and honest captain of the Ravenclaw team. "I know, it is … I wouldn't believe it if he hadn't told me himself. I mean … I even didn't believe it as Fleur told me. Perhaps I didn't want to believe. But please, don't be angry with him. He was drunk and he regrets it so much. He spoke with her, apologized for his behavior. But for me it was simply too late. And I think Fleur was too hurt to send him my way to explain. So I thought for a long time that she had wanted this; somehow I felt as if she had cheated to me. How could I think this?"

Hermione went around the table and embraced my shoulders. Her voice was very smooth, like a mother to her startled child. "It is comprehensible. You were in fear. You unconsciously looked for the negatives, searched for an escape, an explanation why you shouldn't tell her how you felt. You didn't want to get hurt by unveiling your inner self and so it was your way to tell yourself that there was no chance, no future for you both."

No further words were needed in this moment and for a long time she sat at my side and hold me tight.

.

_**A/N:**_

_A shorter chapter today. The rest of Day 2 will follow tomorrow._


	5. Chapter 5

**Bleeding Heart Chapter 5**

_Room of Requirement – Day 2 (Hermione's POV)_

We sat side by side for a long time, Cho weeping silently and me holding her tight. Her nearness was a bit unnerving for me but I tried hard to sit still and to emit a mix of calm and friendship. This was certainly one of the few moments I appreciated the events of the last years. More than once I had experienced a moment with Harry, Ron or Ginny undergoing a time of emotional trouble, a situation where they needed a friend to soothe them. Now I could put this experience to good use.

Thinking about this I suddenly had an idea how to go on. It was impossible to spend another afternoon reading the Quibbler but I sensed Cho's need to divert her mind from the events of the Yule Ball before we went on to speak about Fleur. So I started to tell her about the adventures Harry, Ron and I went thru in the past four years.

I told her about the second year as Voldemort was able to subdue Ginny Weasley's mind, how Harry had been able to free her and which consequences this had for her. "I'm sure that Ginny from the start had a big crush for Harry, something like hero-worshipping. That especially she had been chosen by Voldemort to act against Harry hit her very hard. He never ever blamed her for her deeds but Ginny couldn't forget those days for a long time. It wasn't made easier by some other girls that until now are unwilling or unable to grasp what happened. Even today there are some that don't believe her, thinking her to have been a willing aide of Voldemort. Luckily she had Ron, Fred and George. All three are very protective of her."

"And she had you," Cho added.

"Yes, maybe, I tried to help her at least. I like her very much; she is the little sister I would like to have. But I fear I'm not very good at such things."

"Believe me you are," her soft touch to my cheek sent some unwelcome shivers down my spine. "I only hope I'm such a good big sister to my own little one."

Then I started to speak about Ron's fear of spiders and how he subdued it as we had to go to the Aragog. I tried to show her how bad situations had something good in them, how they helped us to mature and evolve. I was certain that I didn't a very good job and certainly I wasn't very inconspicuous in my intentions but she didn't comment it, only smiled softly.

After these stories I went silent for a while, thinking about the events of the third and fourth year. It would be difficult to tell her about the adventures around Sirius Black without revealing too much, especially that he survived those days and had been able to flee with our help. And the fourth year, that would be too close to Fleur again. Absentminded I spoke about smaller events of the past years, not realizing how often I used Ron's name and so Cho's question came like a shock.

"You love him, don't you? You love Ron Weasley," she explained as Cho saw my confused stare. I gulped fiercely, my eyes widened and my face turned into an astonishing mix of paleness and blushing cheeks. "It is nothing bad, Hermione; he is a very nice guy. I think he is extremely loyal and brave to his family and friends, a real Gryffindor."

Slowly I was able to think straight again and to ponder about her question. Did I love Ron? Looking down at our linked arms I tried hard to examine my feelings towards him. How had it been to stay near him? Hesitantly and with a staggering voice I tried to answer, despite Cho's obvious willingness to not press the question.

"I don't know, Cho. I mean … yes, you're right, he is a very good friend, and the best I have aside from Harry. And no, I never had any kind of crush on Harry. If Ginny is my sister than Harry would be my brother and I'm very sure that he always thought the same about me: his intelligent, often ridiculous and nerve-racking bookworm-sister that …" I had to stop my ramblings as Cho put her index finger on my lips.

"Mione … shut up. You're certainly a bookworm and I have no doubt that the Sorting Hat had a difficult choice about sending you to Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. But you're not nerve-racking and certainly not ridiculous. The only adverb you used correctly was intelligent. And now stop to change the subject. You wanted to tell me all the embarrassing details about your love to Ron."

For a moment I felt the urge to softly kiss her finger but luckily she draw him away and thought my deep blushing to be a consequence of her question about Ron. Her broad smirk didn't help to find my composure again. But after a while I was able to go on, to at least try to explain what I felt.

"I'm not sure that it is love. Yes, I like to have him around, at least most of the time. There is this problem with Ron and me not sharing very much with regard to our likings and hobbies. For him Quidditch is the most important. I suppose he could live a whole year with nothing else than speaking about Quidditch. And while I like to sometimes watch the games, especially with Harry being part of the team … or you … it is not the same. Perhaps one reason is my inability to fly. I'm really bad on the broom and more than once Mrs. Hooch …"

Again Cho put a finger on my lips: "No distraction … Ron … embarrassing details."

"Err … yes, okay." For a moment I pondered about what I wanted to tell. "On the other side I really like my books. No, I suppose I should call it the great love of my life. Without books I would wither within days." I halted my words for a moment, thinking about me being here with Cho and without books. Nearly two days had passed and I didn't miss them. A single look into Cho's dark eyes told me that she pondered along the same line. Shoving these thoughts aside I went on.

"But Ron … you know him. You have to use a bullwhip to force him into the library and he'll never understand how it is possible for me to read voluntary, to learn something only because I can, with no professor harassing me." Cho nodded with a broad understanding smile, clinging to my arm. I sighed.

"Every time we part it is hard to say farewell and every time we meet again after a break it is good to see him again. But I'm not sure that this is more than what I feel around Harry. You know …" I hesitated for a moment, making some unsure waves with my free hand. "Perhaps I expect too much. That I felt so bad around the whole Yule Ball thing and his comments about me … I'm sure that means something. But shouldn't there be more? As in the books … I would think that … I really don't know." I stared quizzically in Cho's face but she only watched me in silence. "Shouldn't there be butterflies in my stomach if I'm around him?"

I felt really stupid in this moment as I tried to connect what I had read in some books or seen in the Muggle TV with those emotions I had around Ron and this feeling was enhanced as I saw Cho's soft but broad smile.

"It isn't so easy, Mione, I think. Yes, this feeling certainly can be this strong, but not every love is the same. It isn't always as in the books. Look at my parents. They had been married for more than twenty years now and I assume that their marriage had been a lucky one most of the time. They understand each other, they like to spend time together and obviously their sex life is satisfying." Cho shortly giggled as she watched my blushing. "If you'd ask my mother she would certainly tell you that she loves my father, but all the same there never seemed to be this … what you described. I think that most pairs – especially those with a long standing relationship – have a basis more of friendship, respect and understanding. I even would assume that too strong emotions could be a sign of something that bears the danger to break away even so strongly."

I felt a bit depressed hearing this statement. "That doesn't sound very optimistic. And I thought I would be the one in this room with the realistic, dream-stopping opinions." My small smile seemed to be unable to convince her. Cho padded my hand.

"I don't want to dampen your dreams, Mione. Perhaps you have this luck sometimes. I only tried to explain that you could be in love with Ron without butterflies. Perhaps what you feel is a bit more … steady."

Cho seemed at ease and relaxed now. Suppressing a sigh or any other sign of nervousness as good as possible I asked her: "And how had it been with you, how had you felt toward Fleur?"

„It had been very difficult." For some moments Cho hesitated as she struggled to remember those days. "My emotions switched between friendship, adoring her and love on one side to despising, rejection and pure hate on the other side, sometimes these changes happened within minutes. Sometimes she only needed to say something derogatory about Hogwarts to make me cry and then she did something nice, gave me a present or hold me tight to nearly cause me to moan loudly. As she gave me a massage … I had to fight hard to behave ladylike around her the next minutes, I assure you." I sensed some heat in my stomach as the pictures of soft hands giving me a massage nearly overwhelmed me. Luckily Cho seemed to interpret my reaction wrong. "Yes, this nice it had been," she smiled lopsided.

After a minute of silence she added with a sigh. "But I have to admit: anyhow my emotions have been towards her, they were never shallow. They always burned deep within me, always brought me at the edges of my self-control, positively or negatively."

Softly I touched her cheek and stroke her ear with my thumb. "I assumed so. Certainly my feelings towards Ron aren't as deep as yours have been towards Fleur. And this is the reason why I'm having trouble to answer your question about loving him." With a broad smirk I continued: "And about the embarrassing details: there aren't any. More than once I had the impression that Ron struggled to move on. You know … holding hands, kisses. But until now he never was brave enough. And he never talked about his feelings, at least not towards me."

I stared at Cho for a while before another question left my mouth, the words faster than my brain in this moment: "And you … had you ever kissed Fleur?"

The dark-haired beauty paled intensely and her shivering body and struggling voice told me that perhaps I had been too bold. "No … yes … once … we kissed. I never was brave enough to speak with her and then … this …" Her voice died away. The shivering intensified to a point where I felt the urge to hold her but as I moved she nearly jumped away. "No, don't … I can't … please, let me …"

Hastily Cho left the place at my side, ordering me with a motion of her hand to stay back. Why had the memory of this one kiss caused this terror in her heart, I wondered? Something I had missed; some grave error I had made with my question and I had no idea how to redo the damage done as Cho nearly run out of the room and into her own, closing the door, leaving me behind with my troubled thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bleeding Heart Chapter 6**

_Room of Requirement – Day 2 Evening (Cho's POV)_

Overhasty I had left the room, leaving Hermione alone, and closed the door of my sleeping room behind me. The door was in equal measure an obstacle to hold the brunette away and a barrier to shield me, to deny her seeing my weakness.

I sensed my edges melting away, felt how my self-control crumbled and cleared the way for my pain. Nearly two days I had been strong, nearly two days I had been able to act nearly normally, to even make funny comments about Hermione and Ron's love-life. But it needed only a simple almost harmless question and all the fake barriers crushed to the ground and unveiled a hurt little girl.

My body was shaking violently, my eyes nearly blind with tears as I walked the short distance to my bed. Pain shot thru my body as my toes bumped against the bedpost. It only added to my inner pains and I threw myself on the mattress, grabbed my pillow and buried my face in it.

How could I explain Hermione why her question had been so bad for my psychic balance? With my obvious feelings towards Fleur and our nearly a full school year encompassing friendship it was only natural that she expected those things from us, to act on our emotions at least behind closed doors in those moments we hadn't our quarrels. How could she know that it had never come to more than a few touches, all the time pretending it to be only something between friends?

The picture of that one and only kiss invaded my mind and I couldn't prevent a loud sob, knowing full well that Hermione would hear the noise and know about my inner turmoil. I feared that she would blame herself for my pain; something she neither was nor I wanted her to think. But in this moment I was completely unable to stand up much less face her.

I should explain to her how Fleur had kissed me as she opened her heart and told me of her love. How this moment - the moment I had been dreaming about for months - had been utterly destroyed by my weakness and cowardice.

The pillow was soaking wet now but I hold it tight, buried my face even deeper in the pillowcase to dampen my sobs. I hoped that Hermione would go away, hoped that my pain would go away. Why had she stopped me from doing the one thing that could end this ache in my heart? Why couldn't she allow me to make my life livable again?

_You have a beautiful mind. To mess with your mind, to alter your memories, the erase only a single one of them it is like a kind of sacrilege for me_. I heard her voice again and I knew that she meant every single word in pure sincerity. I didn't deserve this kind of friendship, her adoring of my mind or her affection. But nonetheless she felt this way and acted based on these emotions. And how had I thanked her for this? I pushed her away and made the impression that she hurt me with her words.

The pictures of Fleur's and Hermione's faces' blurred, blended together to one picture of utter hurt. My shoulders was flinching heavily, my body violently shaking and my voice was nearly not recognizable for me as I uttered a single word, a single name because more wasn't possible for me.

.

_Room of Requirement – Day 2 Evening (Hermione's POV)_

For long minutes I paced in front of her room, listening to her sobs, trying to imagine how she felt in these moments. What had I done? I wanted to help her, wanted to ease her pain and what had been the result? If it would have been possible I would have kicked my own ass for my stupidity, for my inability to help her. But mostly I hated myself for my arrogance, my belief that from all students and professors around at Hogwarts it needed especially Hermione Granger to solve Cho's problems.

Which lunacy had gripped my mind as I decided to spend these five days in the room of requirements? Which fabulous abilities of mine had it been once again that predestinated me to help her? Was it my knowledge about arcane runes? Or perhaps my abilities to write essays about the history of magic allowed me to solve problems of the heart. Or could it be my endless experience in all social things would help me … wait, which experience again?

In this moment, listening to her sobs and whimpers that seemed to grow deeper by the minute I promised myself and Cho to apologize to her. If she ever left this room again, if she ever allowed me to speak to her, I would apologize for my behavior and my audacity to mingle with her life. I would leave her in peace for the rest of these five days and when we left I would help her … would help her … the picture of me casting an Obliviate spell on Cho caused my body to shudder. I had promised it, but would I really be able to follow up with the action?

"MIONE"

Her cry full of pain, my name nearly not recognizable … I nearly lost my stance and had to grip the back of my chair to steady my stance. For some long seconds I was unable to believe, unable to grasp that she had called me. Cowardice clenched my heart with an iron fist and I was unable to move. A loud bump from her room urged me to hurry at last. I opened the door only to see her lying on the floor between bed and door, twitching violently. I stared at her, my legs rooted to the spot. I needed her to look up, to stare into my face with her soft eyes now swollen from her tears, to bring me back to reality.

Thinking back I couldn't explain how exactly the next minutes went by. My reasoning turned back with us both lying in her bed, her comforter warming our bodies, Cho's trembling frame pressed against my own with barely enough room for her shakings. She seemed to need hours to find a modicum of composure again. Our tear glands were long dry as she found sleep at last. My own thoughts didn't allow me to follow her into slumber for a long time after that. This was only our second day. How would be the next?

.

_Room of Requirement – Day 3 Morning (Hermione's POV)_

Groggily I awakened the next morning, the morning of the third day. As I opened my eyes I stared directly into Cho's, her dark eyes still very red from the tears. But her face showed a hint of composure again and her lips a small, very weak smile.

"Good morning, Mione," she whispered, the affection in her voice surprising and relieving me. The evening before I had feared that I had lost her with my mingling, but now I saw determination in her eyes. "I wanted to tell you something. Please stay quiet until I'm finished. I don't know if I'm able …" She sighed and only continued after my silent nod.

"You asked me about the kisses fleur and I shared." As I started to interject she pressed her soft finger on my lips and showed another smile. "Mione isn't the ideal of discipline I thought her to be, it seems." I reciprocated her smile and nodded to encourage her to go on.

"I understand that you thought … that you imagined Fleur and me to have moved further in our relationship. How did you call it: holding hands, kisses and all those things?" She smiled shortly but shook her head afterwards. "We never went this far. Our relation had always been very difficult and full of misunderstandings. I had been too much of a coward to act on my emotions and Fleur … it was only in the last moment that she opened her heart."

Cho stayed silent for some minutes, her head rested on her hand, her elbow pressed into the pillow, her black hair flowing down her arm while her free hand played with my fingers as if the words she searched where somehow hidden therein.

"As we all prepared to watch the last test, I got a message from her. She wanted to see me at the Quidditch pitch. Full of fear I went to hear, not knowing what to expect. Her words surprised me, her emotions scared me. She said that she had feelings for me, in spite of all the complications between us. She declared me her love and … she kissed me. It was our first and only kiss. Fleur had bared her chest, her heart to me, opened herself to my reaction in good or bad and showed with this a bravery I never had in me. And what had been my reaction? I tossed her back. It was only a minute of cowardice, a minute that ended as soon as I reached the tribune and knew which error I made, but it was too late, I had squandered the single most important moment of my live."

I gripped her hand and pressed it assuredly but stayed quiet. Somehow I sensed that Cho wasn't finished, that she wanted to tell me something more, something terrible for her. And I was right. "I don't know why she choose that moment for her declaration, why she told me immediately before the test how she felt. Did she anticipate how dangerous the test would be? Did she fear to never come back, to never get another chance for these words? Or did she want to know if there was a chance for us both? Did she want to draw strength from my love to succeed, to survive?"

I knew the destination of her line of thoughts, knew the awful end of these words. But my mind was frozen, my tongue numb with fear, unable to stop her as she continued. "I suppose she knew that this test would lead her to the boundaries of her abilities and she searched for this small bit of extra determination that she would need, a reason to survive, a reason to come back alive."

Cho's voice trembled, the words were nearly incomprehensible. "And I let her down, I betrayed her love, betrayed our love. And with that I not only let her die in pain, in solitude, but also caused her death. Without my cowardice she would have been able to resist and to survive. She would have come back and not died there completely alone, lost …"

I draw her shaking body against my own, hold her arms with mine to give her assistance. With my hands occupied and my wish growing stronger with every of her words to stop her ramblings, her string of self-accusations, I pressed my lips on Cho's, intensifying the touch as she tried to steer away. After a while Cho stopped to move and to speak and I pulled away a little bit, grasped the side of her head with my hand.

"Voldemort had planned all this from the beginning. He switched this tournament into a deadly trap for Harry, starting with the forged invitation for Harry to join the tournament. He wanted Harry to win these tests, to reach the goblet so that he could catch him, kill him. No one was able to see thru these plans until it was too late, not even Dumbledore. No one could anticipate how far Voldemort was willing to go to fulfill his plans."

I stared into her eyes, trying very hard to show how earnest I meant my words. "Cedric and Fleur … they were bystanders, accidental victims to his plans. Aside from preventing their participation nothing could have prevented their death. Do you really think it would have made a difference in a battle against Voldemort and his minions how Cedric and Fleur felt in this moment? None of them, neither Cedric nor Victor nor Harry was able to defeat them. Without Cedric's sacrifice Harry would have died too and even so he was only barely able to escape."

Locking eyes with Cho, my hands holding her head near mine with no way to escape I continued, emphasizing every word: "You did wrong in denying her love, Cho. You should have been brave in that moment and given her the possibility to die knowing that someone loved her. And perhaps you'll never be able to compensate fully for this. But you are not responsible for her death. Voldemort and his minions are responsible and perhaps Dumbledore and the others are a bit responsible for not detecting his plans but not you. Neither your words, actions nor emotions killed her but his spell and nothing you could have done to save her. I know that you would instantly sacrifice your own life to save hers but it is not possible. You can't change what happened. Please don't humble her death and her love for you with these self-accusations. Fleur died loving you. She would never have allowed you to assume debt for her death. Yes, you caused her pain. But in this moment, with these words you would cause her even greater pain. Please stop these thoughts and concentrate on her last words, remember her kiss. She would want you to feel happy thinking about her, not to tear yourself apart for an imagined debt."

Gently I kissed the tears on her cheeks away and draw her close, sighing as Cho relaxed a tiny bit, resting her head on my shoulder. In this moment I could only hope and pray to Merlin that she believed me, that she allowed herself to believe.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bleeding Heart Chapter 7**

_Room of Requirements – Day 3 Midmorning (Cho's POV)_

Her patience was incredible and I couldn't really understand why Hermione did all this. Holding me, soothing me in spite of what I had done, how I had reacted. I knew that my words had touched her intensely, that pain and fear battled in her heart and mind with her wish to help me.

_You did wrong in denying her love. You caused her pain, Cho, but you are not responsible for her death._

The brunette girl that was holding me tight since hours meant every word she had said to me, believed every sentence of it. And slowly, very slowly, I was willing to believe them too. I would never forget the look in Fleur's eyes as I rejected her, as I run away. But I hadn't killed her. She had been attacked by one of Voldemort's minions alone and unexpected, attacked by someone she should have been able to trust because her foe wore – with the help of a Polyjuice Potion – the appearance of a professor. Hermione was right: no word of mine on our last meeting would have changed a bit about her death.

Bit by bit my grief about her death changed into anger, anger directed at those minions that followed a mage that had created a deadly trap out of the tournament; a mage that had planned to lure Harry to the goblet to kill him; a mage that had done all this without hesitation, without regard of bystanders. He had killed Cedric and Fleur without a second thought, only because they had been at the wrong spot at the wrong time.

My anger causing me to spill further tears I nestled further into Hermione's bosom to find some reassurance. For a second she flinched, but as I started to release her again, she gripped my shoulders and pulled me closer, put my head on her breast and cradled me slightly, caressing my head and pressing light kisses on my hair. Never again since mom sheltered me from some nightmares years ago had I felt loved and sheltered like this.

.

_Room of Requirements – Day 3 Afternoon (Hermione's POV)_

It had been midday before we finally left Cho's bed. One of the reasons – as I could admit at least to myself – was my unwillingness to release Cho from my grip. After the first tense moment it had felt heavenly to embrace her, to be able to caress and kiss her without revealing that I did this not only to help her.

Was I a kind of bad girl to have these thoughts? Was I a hypocrite to follow my emotions? I tried to assuage my self-reproaches with the explanation that Cho needed this nearness, needed someone who cared deeply for her. But my words had only mediocre success on my conscience.

The lunch had been very silent and the first hours of the afternoon even so. I sensed the change in her, sensed that the pain had lessened a bit and that instead anger was rising in her. For a while I had wondered if I had overstepped my boundaries again and that her anger would be directed towards me. But then she asked about our training, spoke about Dumbledore's army and that she wanted to go on with the lessons. Then I understood: I really had reached her; I really had been able to convince her that not her but Voldemort was responsible for Fleur's death. Perhaps I should have been a bit frightened about what I started, about her willingness to battle these terrific opponents. But in those moments I could only be happy … happy about the lessening of her volition of self-destruction.

"Thank you, Mione," her low voice startled me and I tried to figure out what had caused these words, for what she was thanking me now.

"I know these three days with me had not been easy for you. I really appreciate your concern and your affection … even if I yet don't understand how I deserve them." Cho raised her hand to stop my interruption.

"The last weeks had been very painful for me. These last two nights had been the first without nightmares and I'm sure that it had been your words, your care and your nearness that allowed me to find a hint of composure again. I'm still not over …" Cho hesitated, shuddered slightly as she fought for words. "I'm still not over Fleur or the last moments we shared. Perhaps I never will. But at least I'm now willing to believe that I haven't killed her. For months I had thought otherwise and I – a Ravenclaw – needed a Gryffindor to see the truth." Her small smile was very sweet and caused me to relax a bit. "I needed you to realize what happened and what part I played – or to be exactly: not played – in those events. I wanted to thank you for lifting this debt from my shoulders, Mione. You have been a very good friend to me."

Stunned by her words I could only stare at her, my non-reaction obviously troubling Cho. She went nearer, silently asking me what happened as I suddenly grabbed her and pulled her against me, embracing her tightly. My voice certainly sounded a bit broken as I was able to explain at last.

"I'm so relieved to hear that from you, Cho. I was so afraid that my words and deeds would do nothing else than to deepen your pain. I'm not very good with these social graces and all and …"

"Nonsense," Cho stopped my ramblings, a warm look in her eyes as she took her turn to hold my head and stare into my face. "You did very well. I don't know if you're a natural at it or if it was only for me, but … thank you, Mione, really."

My expression must have been very goofy in this moment because her smile broadened, allowing me to trust her sincerity. A thought crossed my mind and not for the first time in these days I followed the urge to spill the beans before my always-planning, always-pondering mind was able to find 99 faults.

"So you want to thank me, Cho. That's good because I have something to ask from you. There is something you could do for me. Perhaps you could see it as a kind of repay for my troublesome, arduous, painful hours I have spent with a …"

"You're a dork," Cho interrupted me. Luckily she reciprocated my ironic intonation. "If there is anything I can do for you, please tell."

I was hard-pressed to hold my doubts at bay but now it was too late to paddle back. "I had never been able to spend much time with Fleur when she was in Hogwarts." Thinking about my choice of words I shook my head. "No, those words weren't honest. What I should have said: I never wanted to spend time with her, seeing her like many other Hogwarts' girls did: a beautiful girl from far away, only here to belittle what was our home and to spoil our boys."

For a moment I stopped to watch her reaction but Cho only waited in silence, knowing me well enough that there was more to come. "It had been to simple back then to relish in prejudices, to see only the obvious, to believe the superficial. Certainly that was one of the main reasons that most of us thought you would mourn Cedric's death in spite your obvious behavior after her body was found. We all were unable to see what you saw in her. But I don't want to be like this anymore."

I knew that my plea would be difficult to fulfill for her and after these three days I hadn't to explain this to her but nonetheless I dared to ask her: "Cho, please tell me about her. Tell me how Fleur had been, what she had liked and despised, how she behaved and first and foremost why she did so. Let me understand her, let me see her clearly."

Cho sat there very silent and still for a long time, her face a little pale, her eyes worried. I patiently awaited her response, hoping that she would follow my plea, hoping that speaking about her would ease her heart furthermore and bring those positive thoughts and memories to the front that had to be in her heart somewhat hidden. My heart bumped heavily as she nodded at last. Cho sat down on the couch, pulling me with her. Hesitantly at first but slowly steadying her voice she started to narrate Fleur's story, started to tell me about her stay at Hogwarts and how the Vala-Girl experienced her months in what we called our home. Cho told me about their arguments and their cheerful moments, their harsh words and soft touches. And most of all she told me about her emotions when she simply watched the blonde girl with the eyes of blue.

.

_**A/N:**_

_One last chapter I have planned and hope to finish the story halfway believable with that epilogue. I know that this change is way too fast and would more likely happen in the space of a few months. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Bleeding Heart – Chapter 8**

_Room of Requirements – Day 4 Morning (Hermione's POV)_

To awake at her side was a wonderful sensation, to know that Cho had been sleeping better because of me. The first

night had been full of bad dreams; the second night she had been in shuddering pain. This third night, while not a completely soothed one, had been considerable better for her. For hours we had been speaking about Fleur; the whole afternoon and evening the beautiful dark-haired witch had told about the up and down in her relationship with Fleur. And with every sentence, with every anecdote and every confessed emotion a little weight seemed to have been lifted from her shoulders.

I knew that her trouble wasn't over yet. It would be expecting too much that within a few days I could have healed her. But I was sure that it had been a great first step, perhaps even a few great steps in the right direction. And I was willing to go on, to help her further, not only in the last two days we would be spending in this room but also afterwards.

Cautiously I unwrapped my arms and legs from her, missing the soft warmth of her body instantly. For several minutes I stood still beside the bed, watching Cho in her sleep. The leg of her pajama was rode up, hints of tears were visible on her cheek – to my relief much less than the days before – and her long hair was a totally mess, cloaking most of her face. Gently I pulled the pajama over her ankle again and put the comforter around her shoulders before I kneeled near her head, staring intensely at her. To see Cho a bit more at ease with herself meant much to me and I wasn't completely sure how to go on. But that would be a riddle to be solved later. Arranging her hair a bit, stroking lightly over her head I hesitated a moment before – after a last look at her face to be sure that she was deeply sleeping still – I put a kiss on her cheek. Smiling softly I stood up and left the room to prepare breakfast.

.

_Room of Requirements – Day 4 Midmorning (Cho's POV)_

The night had been a splendid change to the ones before. Never would I've assumed that speaking about Fleur would cause this assuagement in my heart. Hermione obviously had been really interested in my stories. Not only did she listen to help me but I sensed her willingness to learn something about Fleur, her willingness to change her point of view about her. In spite of the shame the brunette witch seemed to feel about the prejudices she had held before, Hermione had been determined to admit her error and correct him.

Sitting at the breakfast table and watching her clean the dishes – she had pushed me down on my chair again as I wanted to help her – my mind wandered back to the days before she carried me off. How would I be in this moment without her intervention? Seconds later I would have finished the Obliviate spell, unable to remember Fleur and the moments I had told Hermione yesterday.

_Fleur gave you her love. Thru her you learned and matured, learned about these other sides of you, be it your attraction towards a girl which certainly surprised you in the beginning but also …_

_Cho, you made an error back at the Quidditch pitch. If you erase this moment, perhaps you'll repeat this error some time. And I'm sure that these memories will help you later. If you start a new relation in the future – and you will because doing otherwise would be kind of betraying Fleur's love – you hopefully will be more tolerant, more willing to work on the relation, more … sorry, Cho, I'm really bad at expressing these things, but I'm definitely sure about one fact: you're better now than one year ago; Fleur made you a wonderful present with the time she spent with you. It would be terrific to cast that away._

Startled I watched her coming back from her room. I must have passed out for a few minutes because I totally missed her finishing her work and leaving. Smiling at her I opened my mouth, wanted to thank her again, and wanted to explain to her that I wasn't planning to repeat the spell, but she interrupted me.

"You don't have to say it, Cho. And my offer still stands. I hope you'll never call it, but if you ever change your mind again, I will be there for you." She put a legal pad in front of me together with a well-worn fountain pen, the one I saw her using many times. "But I have another request, another task for you."

Not quite sure what she wanted me to do I tried to cover my anxiety with humor. "I knew I had to pay for your help somehow. What is it, doing your assignments in potion crafting for the next month?"

Smirking slightly Hermione stared pensively at me, her fingertip playing with her lower lip. "That's an idea I have to think about." Taking a seat at my side she pointed towards the legal pad. "You really changed my opinion about Fleur with the moments you shared with me yesterday. And I am of the opinion that she deserves … look, Cho, I think you should write down what you shared with me. Write about Fleur so that others are able to see this side of her too, to understand her and to like her as she deserved."

I paled visibly, not about the duty itself, the problem of expressing these things and how to order the stories. But … the thought that others would read these sentences scared me. Would I be able to describe her as I should? And how would the other students react if I revealed my inner self? Outing me as gay was the least of my fears. But I still thought my behavior towards Fleur to have been repulsive.

I looked up as her hand pressed mine. "You're able to do it. I'll help you with the writing but I'm sure if you're willing to open your heart everyone will understand. And nobody will judge you, at least nobody you should care about. And asses like Draco we'll kick together in their groin should they try something stupid. I know how much I request from you, but I'm sure that it will help you, that it is something to honor Fleur's commemoration and perhaps it will even help others out there." She shot me a lopsided grin before she ended: "Perhaps it is difficult to believe for you now, but there are other girls out there with similar problems of the heart."

.

_Halls of Hogwarts – Day 5 Evening (Cho's POV)_

Surprisingly I felt sorrow as the door opened at last. Certainly I hadn't expected this emotion five days ago but so much had changed since then. Leaving it to Harry and Luna to drag our bags back to our rooms, I walked thru the passages of Hogwarts with Hermione at my side, our hands clasped. For a moment I had wondered about the rumors that could spread once the other girls heard about my outing, but Hermione didn't seem to have reservations about that. She wanted to be my friend and no stupid rumors would cause her to change her behavior. I adored her for this stubbornness, her being a great Gryffindor.

Two days we had been writing and rewriting the stories about Fleur – only skipping the part of where we had been these five days – and now I was holding the folder under my arm. We had decided that we needed to get the admission of Fleur's family before we published my novel and I likewise hoped and feared that they would allow it. And we had to explain our absence despite the cover stories Harry and Luna had told our professors. While I liked Professor Filius Flitwick very much I never had that connection and trust to him that Hermione shared with Professor McGonagall. So we had decided to go to her with our story.

My little hope that she would be away or somehow preoccupied died away as Minerva McGonagall responded instantly to Hermione's knocking. She sighed deeply, the first sign of her own anxiety, before she entered the room.

Minerva sat behind the large study desk she owned, quite a number of books and paper strewn around. Offering seats to us she glared at Hermione and her intonation made it clear that she didn't believe anything Harry might have told her about Hermione's absence. "It is good to see you back, Ms. Granger. I hope whatever caused your absence has been resolved by now?"

Hermione fidgeted around. I had allowed her to explain everything to Minerva but obviously she wasn't completely sure about that. "Yes, we … we had been able to find a solution." She hesitated for a minute before she continued with a heavy plea in her voice. "Professor McGonagall … Minerva … I know I should have told you before but I had to act very fast. And it was important, really important."

Not quite convinced Minerva asked back, at least switching to the more personal address: "You missed a full week of your studies, Hermione, a full week of your normal routine in the library. You're sure that this has been more important?"

Without hesitation Hermione responded. "I know what I missed and it troubles me deeply. I'll try to make up for it as soon as possible. But this has been more important than my studies or the time in the library." Locking eyes with Minerva and not flinching in the least she added: "More important than my O.W.L. It had to be solved and it had to be solved now."

Minerva gasped and I would have pondered about the question if I ever had seen her shocked like this before if I hadn't been too occupied with staring at Hermione and pressing her arm and hand like I wanted to crush them. How could she do this, say this and behave like it was nothing special? After a minute of silence Minerva only responded: "I see."

Pulling the folder with my novel from me she put it in front of Professor McGonagall. "I have a plea. We wrote this … mostly Cho wrote it, I only helped with putting the parts together. It explains what we did and why we … were away. We wanted you to send this to the family of Fleur Delacour with the request … we want to publish this and … Fleur's family … we need their allowance. It would be unfair otherwise." Minerva stayed silent, looking alternately towards Hermione and in my direction. "Please read it and … please send it to her family. We think it would be the right choice to let others read this."

Solemnly Minerva nodded. "I'll read it and if I share your opinion I'll send this to her family. You should go now to your rooms."

Shortly before we left the room Hermione addressed Minerva a last time. "I know that you have to mete out punishment but please consider that Cho had no choice. I abducted her. And you'll have to add a few points because I entered the Ravenclaw dorm."

Several times I tried to interrupt her, always held at bay by Hermione, but now I shouted angrily: "It is really enough, Mione, with you playing the hero. You have really done enough in the past days." She opened her mouth only to find my hand placed over it. "No, shut up." I turned to Professor McGonagall who stayed surprisingly calm. "If I hadn't been so out of my mind I would have accompanied Mione voluntarily. There is really no reason to put the penalty on her alone. And certainly she shouldn't be punished for entering our dorm. Without that she would have been too late to …" Now I hesitated despite my anger. To write about it wasn't as difficult as to speak loudly.

"She would have been too late to detain me from using an Obliviate spell … on myself." The last words were barely a whisper but the slight paleness in Minerva's face told me that she had understood. Composed she took the folder from her table. "As it seems I have something to read now. I'll decide about the proper punishment after I got an answer from Fleur's family. I suggest you'll use the next days to catch up on the missed lessons and try to make a good impression overall. Good night, young ladies."

.

An hour later I rested in my bed. The questions of the other girls hadn't stopped until I promised to answer them 'later'. How would Fleur's family react? How would the other students react and would they be able to see her like I did? I wasn't sure about the future, but I was sure that Hermione had a least reached a part of her purpose: for the first time in months I was able to think about Fleur without tormenting pain in my heart, was able to think about the girl with the eyes of blue.

.

**A/N:**

_This is the end of my alternative conclusion to ABCCJPTT's story "Eyes of Blue". I hope you liked it. I don't know if I ever continue with a sequel. As you certainly saw I laid the groundwork for a story about Hermione and Cho but I'm not sure if and when I'll be able to go on. I wish you many happy hours with stories about the girls of Hogwarts._


End file.
